


Tag to "Despair" (15x18)

by Alvinola



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27418828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alvinola/pseuds/Alvinola
Summary: Sam has to pick up the pieces when Cas is gone.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 203





	Tag to "Despair" (15x18)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really a Cas- or Destiel-Girl, but last night's episode was so wonderfully heartbreaking. That last scene with Dean and Cas was so very painful but at the same time really beautiful. Personally, I really liked it and the way they eventually explained their relationship. I cried. A lot.

Sam’s hands were trembling when he unlocked the door to the bunker. He felt completely off balance, mentally and physically, and had to cling to the railing to make it down the stairs without falling.

“Dean!” he shouted and looked around frantically. “Cas!”

At first glance, nothing seemed out of place, but the fact that he hadn’t been able to reach his brother for over an hour was a sure sign that something had gone wrong.

“Jack, go check the garage,” Sam called over his shoulder, before he jogged down one of the numerous hallways, stomach in knots.

With his heart pounding in his chest, he checked everywhere for his brother and friend. He kept calling their names, hoping and praying to find them both alive and well.

Sam was just about to yell again, when he froze in the doorway to the dungeon. His heart sank when he laid eyes on Dean, who was huddled against the wall with his head buried in his hands.

“Dean,” Sam gasped and rushed to his brother’s side. Falling to his knees in front of him, he instantly reached out to touch. “Dean, hey. Are you all right? Are you hurt?” he asked and quickly checked him over for injuries.

Dean didn’t react, showed no signs of being aware of _anything_.

The knot in Sam’s gut tightened. Gently, he pulled Dean’s arms away and cupped his face. “Dean,” he said quietly. “Look at me. Can you hear me?”

When his brother finally looked up and their eyes met, Sam swallowed thickly. The green eyes, which were usually so full of life, were dull and bloodshot. Pain, despair and anguish swirled in them, breaking Sam’s heart. Without thinking or asking another question, he pulled his brother in a hug.

Dean didn’t return it. His nose bumped against Sam’s collarbone and he just lay limply in his arms. Sam felt him shudder and instantly tightened his embrace. He tucked Dean’s head under his chin and closed his eyes. All his life, his big brother had protected him from evil. It was his turn now.

“He’s gone, Sammy. Cas is gone…”

Sam squeezed his eyes shut and fought the onslaught of emotions. When he had only found Dean in the bunker with no trace of Castiel and Billie, he’d already feared that something terrible had happened. But hearing his brother say the words out loud was like a knife to the heart. After everything they’d been through, everything they’d sacrificed… They were all gone. Every single person they ever loved and cared about was _gone_. Hadn’t they lost enough?

They stayed huddled together for a long time. Neither of them moved, until Sam felt his brother’s shivering increase. It wasn’t particularly cold in the dungeon, which meant Dean was either hurt or still in shock.

“Let’s get you off the ground,” Sam said softly. His joints ached when he stood up and his back protested when he hauled his brother to his feet. Dean’s knees refused to lock and they stumbled. Pressing a hand against the wall, Sam struggled to keep both himself and his brother upright.

“I’m sorry,” Dean breathed and took some of his own weight.

Sam frowned when he saw blood on Dean’s shoulder. “Are you hurt?”

Dean glanced at his shoulder and visibly flinched when he saw what seemed to be a bloody handprint on his shoulder. His face paled and Sam’s reflexes were just quick enough to keep him from collapsing back to the ground.

Dean was at the end of his tether. Sam realized that, right then and right there, his brother had _nothing_ left to give. He was done.

Sam woke up in the middle of the night to something breaking in the room next to his. He was out of bed before he was even aware of it and stumbled next door to his brother’s bedroom.

He was about to knock, when he heard the sound of someone getting sick. Without thinking, he pushed the door open.

Dean was hunched over the sink in the corner of the room. His arms were trembling and he looked ready to drop. Rushing to his side, Sam wrapped an around his waist to keep him upright. “Dean…”

His brother kept vomiting until his entire body was shaking. Through the thin material of his shirt, Sam felt the cold sweat that was coving Dean’s entire body, and, even in the dim light, he saw the unhealthy pallor of his skin.

“You’re okay. You’re going to be okay,” Sam muttered quietly and dropped his forehead to his sick brother’s temple. He doubted that what he had said was true.

They had lost. It was over.

They had not only lost the fight, but also the war.


End file.
